If Amtrak Was a Snack Bar
Written on August 22, 2000, whilst awaiting the departure of Amtrak Train 586, the 9:50 PM train from Los Angeles to San Diego. The 9:50 train is the first train after Train 284, the 7:20 train, which was delayed until 7:40 and then undelayed to 7:22. The former event was posted to Amtrak’s status board at approximately 7:00. The latter event, never announced, was posted at approximately 7:21:50. Service 586, for those interested, is scheduled to arrive in San Diego at 12:30 AM. It’s actual arrival time shall be posted to this web site if I am still alive and awake when upon arrival.
Attendant: Whatcha’ want.
Henry: I’ll have a grilled chicken sandwich and a diet coke.
Attendant: That will be $6.50.
Henry hands over exact change.
Attendant: Your number is 52.
Henry: What happened to 52?
Attendant: 52 ... 52 was ready ten minutes ago.
Henry: You never called out ?52.?
Henry: So, I’m 52. I’d like my order.
Attendant. We chucked it. You never came to get it.
Henry: You never called 52.
Henry: So, what are you going to do about it?
Attendant: I can give you a refund or put the order in again.
Henry: I’m hungry. Put the order in again.
Attendant: Whatcha’ want?
Henry: A grilled chicken sandwich and a diet coke.
Attendant: You’re 62.